Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Living with crime: His wallet stolen, roommate gets guard dog

Nibbler, a 3-month-old Pembroke Welsh corgi, undergoes guard-dog boot camp in the living room with drill sergeant Mark, my roommate. Nibbler already has distinguished herself as having what it takes to PROTECT THIS HOUSE. Grrr. Get that rope.

This is her tactic: She poses, then ... ATTACKS!

As I blogged about a few weeks ago, my roommate was the victim of a rash of car burglaries in the area of Wickham Park in Melbourne (rash = 12 burglaries, approximately). His black leather wallet was stolen from his Dodge.

I was shaken. I have a Nautica black leather trifold, and if it were to be stolen, I would totally flip.

My roommate, however, handled his misfortune with grace: He ordered new credit cards and IDs without grumbling.

But, in the wake of the crime, I think he has come to his senses and is taking matters into his own hands to prevent this from happening again. And if the perps do try it again, they will be mauled.

Yes. My roommate has purchased a guard dog.

She's a mean, less-than-10-pound Pembroke Welsh corgi. She's 3 months old. And the people yesterday at Petland in Viera told my roommate, Mark, that the dog would grow to be a fierce 25 pounds.

And if that doesn't scare you, her name definitely will. It's Nibbler. My roommate chose the name in honor of Lord Nibbler of Comedy Central's animated series "Futurama." Wikipedia, the most reliable source on the Internet, says Lord Nibbler "masquerades as an innocent, cute and unintelligent pet. In very rare circumstances he may break his undercover identity and suddenly be discovered to be super intelligent, equipped with unique technology and strange natural abilities, which he uses as part of his secret mission to guard the existence of the entire universe."

How perfect is the name Nibbler?

When you look at her, she's a cute dog you'd like to pick up, put on your lap and pet while you're reading a Judy Blume novel on a rainy summer Saturday.

But get her mad, and Nibbler acts like a creature straight out of Stephen King's "The Langoliers." She'll nibble at your ankles and nibble at your toes, and then she'll rip your socks off.

The breed, Pembroke Welsh corgi, is known as the perfect herding varietal. The corgis may be little (the smallest of the herding group), but they pack a punch when they nip at the legs of those sheep they have over there in the U.K.

Nibbler will be locked in her cage until Mark can train her sufficiently so that she doesn't nibble off the legs of the dining room table. Several cords behind the big-screen TV in the living room are in danger, too. Mark sprayed all of them with a substance that supposedly tastes awful to dogs. But tonight, that didn't seem to stop Nibbler as she followed Mark and sniffed each area that he sprayed.

I'll be monitoring miscreant levels in the Baymeadows subdivision to chronicle any decline now that this new crime-fighting measure has been deployed.

But to be honest with you, I might feel safer outside this house. Now, the biggest danger is coming from within. I mean, look at her ...

Tongue ... has ... evil ... powers.


Amy Eisman said...

OK, that is the cutest dog I've ever seen! But a warning about names: When I got my puppy, his name was Copper, but the rescue people were calling him Chopper, for no reason, they said. Well, I renamed him Casey (for Casey at the Bat, my dad's favorite poem) but Casey has teeth the size of an alligator or crocodile (something you can explain in Florida, I don't know), which he will use to tear off the bottom of my front door or someone's feet. Name your dog, Nibbler and yes, the puppy will nibble forever! Amy

paz said...

omg that is so cute!

Wordnerdy said...

She's so cute!

A few years ago, I briefly adopted a dog that, I was told, was a Welsh corgi. I learned all I could about the breed and went to PetSmart to stock up on proper supplies.

When I picked her up, I thought her legs were a tad long. Then I introduced her to a few folks who knew more about dogs than I, and they confirmed that she was not a Welsh corgi.

If I ever get another dog, it might be a Welsh corgi, but only after I've verified that it won't get bigger than me.

Andrew Knapp said...

Nibbler is smaller than your cat, Wordnerdy.