Stuff you find on Florida roads | Umbrella almost hits car

It has been some time, but the "Stuff you find on Florida roads" feature is back. Returning from an errand during a thunderstorm Thursday, I turned into the driveway of my apartment complex and almost got nailed by an umbrella. The storm was packing some strong straight-line winds, blowing the umbrella from a common area at the complex and into my path.

And you think gas pricing is a conspiracy? Bikes are evil

Matt of Matt's Bicycle Center in Cocoa Beach produces literature to inform Beth for her impending purchase of an overpriced piece of aluminum and rubber. I say "overpriced" as a general term for all "nice" bikes. Matt actually had the best prices of the day.

A co-worker of mine, Beth, is lacking four-wheel transportation because of an unfortunate event a few weeks ago involving a tree and her Chevy Malibu. According to the insurance agent, the tree totally won.

But instead of buying a new car, she's buying a new bike to save money.

With gas prices inching upward, Beth has decided to abstain from using a motor and to obtain the ultimate pedal-powered transporter. She has just a few miles to commute to work. Her previous bike caused her great pains because of its large size, so she wants a new one.

That's where I came in. Without a car, she can't shop for bikes. So I was drafted to escort her in my gas-powered vehicle to three bike shops around to county in search of her sub-$500 "dream bike."

We checked out that dream bike at a place in Indialantic called Bob's Beachside Bike Shop. And she discovered that it wasn't too dreamy after all.

It was an Amsterdam made by Electra. It was red and shiny, but it wasn't as pretty as Jennifer Garner in "Elektra," who also was red and shiny. And according to Beth, the Electra didn't move as smoothly as Elektra either.

Beth found a few bikes that looked promising at Matt's Bicycle Center in Cocoa Beach, where the owner, Matt (go figure), was one of the nicest salesguys I've met.

Beth says she'll make up her mind soon.

The whole ordeal got me thinking about the time I bought a bike when I was living in D.C. Unlike Beth, I'm not willing to spend oodles on a self-powered contraption.

But I needed a cheap bike to ride around the mean streets of Georgetown, where parking is scarce. And when I think cheap, I think Wal-Mart. I thought the one in Bowie, Md., would be the most accessible. To me, "accessible" meant the most direct route. That looked like New York Avenue, which would take me straight to Bowie.

After a two-hour drive, I found a bike for about $50. But I spent lots of money on gas to get to Wal-Mart.

And then I had another problem: How would I cram the thing into my car?

My solution was to take one wheel off, roll down the rear driver-side window and leave the handlebars sticking out to whistle in the wind.

In the end, I used the bike about five times. Many parts of D.C. are hilly, unlike Florida. So driving my car was much easier.

As for Beth, she says she'll bike to work until the November election. Her theory is that the next president, if a Democrat, will single-handedly pound gas prices back down.

Then she'll buy a car.

Honestly, I don't think this is a financial decision. I think it's a conspiracy to get me to vote Democrat so I won't have to take Beth shopping anymore.

Accessories, including mirrors, can really pimp out a bike - for a price, of course. Personally, when I'm riding a bike, I can always see more when I turn my head and look.

Bike seats come in the styles of normal, left, pimp/ho, middle, and goth, right.

And, my mom rode this bike back in the 1970s.

Stuff you find on Florida roads: plastic and glass near work

This is the second installment of "Stuff you find on Florida roads." And I almost became a victim of road rage to bring it to you.

It seems that another minor accident happened, and crews did a shoddy job of picking up.

This time, it was in front of the FLORIDA TODAY building on U.S. 1 in Melbourne/Rockledge/Suntree/Brevard (its location is debatable). Of course, my car tires had to roll over the glass and tail-light plastic when I entered the driveway to my workplace.

I snapped this photo from my driver's seat after stopping in the turning lane with a car behind me. Its driver honked and was likely wondering what the heck I was doing. Luckily, that person didn't turn into FLORIDA TODAY. I thought it was a co-worker. That would have been awkward.